Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
