so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
