I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
