Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
