He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
