He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
