Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
