tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Will exercising make me less horny?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
