so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
