Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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