I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
