I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
