A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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