Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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