He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My liver just had a heart attack.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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