tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I love you. Go after that dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
