I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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