I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
