she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The feeling are messing with the penis
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
