No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
