i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
