I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
