What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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