So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
