You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
