so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
