Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
