Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
