And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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