Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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