I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
