I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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