You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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