I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
