Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
