she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
