they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize