Kiss
Puke
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
