So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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