he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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