This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
