Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
