why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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