I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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