i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
...so i touched it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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