I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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