We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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