She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
