Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
