so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
