Cold hands, warm shart.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think my fart just growled at me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
