Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
