my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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