What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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