Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
