I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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