The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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