I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
