dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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