So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
